Canadians Excited To Unpack Trauma From Past Two Years As Fun Summer Project

By Gabriel Venneri

Lifestyle - With summer just around the corner, Canadians all over the country are excited to get back to their warm weather pastimes. Many of the favorites include gardening, golf, or reading a good book. This year, a fun new way to spend the summer is sweeping the nation: unpacking all the trauma the last 2 years has inflicted upon everyone!

That's right, this summer's hottest fun little project is figuring out exactly what in the fuck happened to society as we know it. Between the pandemic, corruption, systemic racism, corporate greed, mass graves, erratic weather due to climate change, soaring cost of living expenses, war, and just a lack of empathy toward fellow human beings in general, you’ll have no shortage of quirky topics to ruminate over in the sunshine!

“I’m really looking forward to sorting through the mess the last two years has created for everyone!” Says Michelle McCabe, “My friends and I can’t wait to get together and brood over how our elected officials can seemingly just stand by idly as things get worse and worse for the average Canadian.”

“It’s going to be great fun for the whole family,” Dan Wince, father of two says, “Keeping my kids busy during the summer can be tough, but luckily this year we can look at how basic medical issues becoming extremely politicized has wounded social wellbeing. My eleven year old and eight year old are going to love it!”

Officials are glad to hear Canadians are so eager to sift through the mental and emotional wreckage that this complete shitshow of the last two years has caused. They’re predicting it’ll take Canadians like three or four weeks to unpack everything, after that everyone will probably be fine.

Gabriel Venneri is a contributing writer at The Toronto Harold. You can find him on Instagram at @gabevenn