Doug Ford Puts On Scrubs And Prepares For Big Day Helping Out In The ICU

By Scott Slute

Toronto - After spending yesterday assisting stuck drivers during Toronto’s blizzard, Premier Doug Ford is back to help out another Ontario sector in crisis; the province’s ICU units!

Sporting a tiny stethoscope and a documentary film crew, the premier made his way to Toronto’s Western Hospital ready to help out wherever he was needed.

“You know I can see these hospitals are struggling and I thought there must be something I can do. So I hoped in my truck and headed right to this ICU to give these hospital workers a hand,” the unmasked premier tells CP24’s George Lagogianes via Skype while performing an open-heart surgery.

“I think this is probably medical malpractice but I’m not totally sure. This is hour 26 of my shift, I’m just excited to take a fifteen minute break while the premier covers my post,” one ICU nurse tells us.

Though many healthcare workers have spent years calling on Ford to just provide them more funding, the premier says he’s always been for the people and wants the province to know isn’t afraid to get his hands a little dirty.

“Why would I waste my constituents hard-earned tax dollars on things like ‘properly paid nurses’ and ‘life saving equipment’ when I can just perform these procedures on my own,” stated Ford while improperly hooking a patient up to a respirator, “I’ve played a lot of ‘Operation’ at my cottage, and I haven’t had a single patient’s nose blink red today. I’m doing a great job.”

And the premier isn’t the only member of his cabinet helping out around the province. Education Minister Stephen Lecce will be busy substituting for Mrs Buchanan’s grade 3 class while she’s out with Covid. 

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold