Illiterate Protestors Demand Canadian Schools Stop Teaching Their Kids To Read

Ottawa - A group of concerned and illiterate parents from across the country have organized multiple protests to fight what they believe is the government overstepping on the education of their children. The group, which have been unable to cohesively name themselves, say that school boards are forcing ideologies onto their children that they themselves don’t understand including reading, writing, and mathematics.

“The liberal government thinks they can teach my kids anything they want without my permission every time,” stated group organizer Samatha Bark, “These teachers act like schools are a place for kids to be exposed to new ideas and other things I don’t understand. Not on my watch pal!”

Other protestors shared similar concerns. “Schools are a place for me to leave my kid for 8 hours while I continue trying to complete my application for hair cutting school, not a place for you to shove your liberal ideas down my child’s throat,” stated 43 year old Tammy Lego.

The group says they have very reasonable demands. They are simply asking Justin Trudeau to come down to meet with them and personally read out each province’s curriculum, and then the group can decide which things are ok for their kids to learn and if school boards should add more things like teaching kids to do cool BMX tricks and how to breath without using your nose.

The group says once one of them figures out how to sign up for Facebook, they will begin an online campaign.