REPORT: Man Who Still Uses Blackberry Designs Shitty App

Toronto - After over a week since launching the Verify Ontario vaccine passport app, Premier Doug Ford is facing criticism for the app which some experts are calling “useless” and “a waste of millions of dollars”. The Premier has defended the app in a press conference early this afternoon.

“The Verify Ontario app and QR code vaccine receipts are very simple. All the information from your old receipts is still here and easy to read. But we also included this thing you can scan so that you can see all the same information that’s right in front of you, but on an iPad. Except we didn’t format the app for iPads, so it’s all grainy. Also you still need to show your physical ID. It’s all very simple, folks.”

Insiders close to the Premier tell us that after seeing an initial demonstration for the QR code enhanced receipts, Ford asked if the purpose of it was so residents could send each other their vaccine status over BBM.

Ford continued to reassure the province this was not a colossal waste of money while also assuring Ontarians he was going to get rid of it by January.

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold