Top 5 Things Canada Could Have Bought With $600 Million Instead Of Spending It On A Pointless Election

Ottawa - After yesterday’s election resulted in almost no change in Parliamentary seats yet cost Canada $600 million, we at The Toronto Harold have rounded out a list of the top 5 things we could have spent that money on instead:

5) Throw a pizza party for the whole country!

Have you guys heard about vaccine passports? Probably not. And if you have you probably don’t have a very strong opinion on them. Haha, just kidding.

Tensions have never been higher between Canadians, and instead of trying to unify the country by throwing a super fun pizza party for the whole county, our leaders decided to create even more division by alienating us from our neighbours politically. Oh well, maybe next year!

4) A sharp looking hat!

“Wooooah, looking sharp Canada!” or “Uh oh, here comes trouble!” are just some of the things other countries might have said to Canada if instead of wasting money on a pandemic election we bought a giant hat to put on top of the country.

Our experts determined that the amount of felt required to make a 9000km long custom festival hat to sit along Canada’s northern boarder would cost approximately $575 million, meaning we would have saved $25 million. If only we knew before!

3) Bet it all on the Blue Jays winning the world series!

Have you seen the hot streak these boys are on? Wow, we should have shown we believe in Canada’s MLB team by gambling all the money on their success! We could have won billions!

The down side to this plan is that we could lose all that money and not get anything from it Oh wait…

2) Pay off 1.8% of student loans!

Sure, there would still be almost $28.5 billion in unpaid student loans left, but hey it’s definitely a start!

1) Clean drinking water.

Do we really need to say it?