Christine Elliott Proudly Announces She Now Cuts Her Own Hair

By Scott Slute

Queens Park - During the provinces announcement of new health restrictions, Ontario’s health minister Christine Elliott stormed the stage to declare she had given herself bangs.

“I understand that this is a trying time for the province,” said Minister Elliott, “But I just wanted to let Ontarians know that after bingeing all of ‘And Just Like That’ I have decided to give myself bangs.”

Elliot continued:

“This was not an easy decision for me to make. But ultimately, it was the right one. Unlike our decisions for COVID regulations, the decision to cut my own hair was made after much thought and consideration from experts.”

Elliott said that next time she cuts her own bangs, she may consider using a mirror and scissors instead of eyeballing it with a rusty bread knife.

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold