Canada Sends Thousands Of Surplus TimBiebs To Aid Ukrainian Forces

By Scott Slute

Ottawa - As tensions continue to escalate with neighbouring Russia, the Canadian government has announced their intention to send aid in the form of many, many Tim Horton’s TimBiebs.

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau made the announcement Friday morning following a failed meeting between the Russian ambassador and US President Joe Biden, who attempted to ease tensions over a couple of beers on the White House back deck.

“Russia is aiming to destabilize Ukraine by disrupting their supply chain. This gift of TimBiebs is Canada’s way to ensure the Ukrainian Armed Forces have plenty of tasty treats to enjoy on the front lines,” Trudeau said.

TimBiebs were released in late 2021 as a partnership between Canadian coffee chain Tim Horton’s and pop star Justin Bieber. The collaboration included three exclusive flavours along with coinciding merchandise.

“At this time, it is unclear if Canada will be able to supply Ukraine with the coveted TimBiebs merchandise that dropped alongside the TimBiebs,” Trudeau continued, “But I think we can all agree that the Ukrainian military uniforms would look very stylish with the addition of a TimBiebs fanny pack.”

Trudeau then demonstrated how Ukrainian forces could use the TimBiebs tote bag to not only store surplus ammunition supplied by the US, but how it could also be used as a weapon to strangle invading forces.

Though urging Russia to deescalate the situation, Trudeau stated that should Russia invade and overthrow the Ukrainian government they could definitely help themselves to add many chocolate chip sour creams as they wanted, but will have to send the fat superior birthday cake waffle flavours back to the Canadian embassy in Kiev.

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold