Ford Promises To Fix All The Damages Caused By Previous Government

By Scott Slute

Queen’s Park - Speaking to the press for the first time since winning last night‘s election, Ontario Premier vowed over the next four years to undue all the damage caused by the province’s last government.

“My friends, I’ll be honest with you, I am leading a province that is in shambles thanks to the previous government. It won’t be easy, but I promise as Premier to fix this once great province,” Ford told the gathered media.

“From underfunded schools, to lack of ICU beds, to stupid license plates, this province is in rough shape thanks to those who were last in power. And I promise as your Premier to attempt to solve at least one of those problems.”

Ford announced his first act would be to fix the crumbling healthcare system by completely eliminating it.

“Folks, the hospitals can’t be underfunded if they don’t exist. Which is why as of June 6th all hospitals, walk-in clinics and anything healthcare related will be illegal.”

Ford is expected to be Premier until 2026.

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold