Local Man Passive-Aggressively Uninvites Anti-Vax Daughter To Thanksgiving By Implementing Public Health Policy

By Scott Slute

Etobicoke - Ontario resident Douglas Ford may have solved how to avoid having that awkward conversation with family about vaccines this holiday season; implement province-wide policy for indoor gatherings!

Ford, who works in the Ontario government as Premier (the leader and chief policy maker for the province), knew it might be a little awkward telling his conspiracy-theorist daughter the family didn’t want her over for Thanksgiving. Luckily, Ford has the power to make sweeping, province-wide policy so he could avoid that uncomfortable conversation.

“I’m sorry Krista. You know mom and I would love to have you over this weekend, but rules are rules. We’re just following what the government thinks is best,” Ford explained to his daughter over the phone.

Krista Ford made headlines last month after the Canadian Federal election, posting a video in which she opposed vaccine mandates and suggested citizens begin to rebel against their governments who attempt to implement vaccine passports. As Doug has just recently implemented vaccine passports, this probably would have led to an awkward conversation over pumpkin pie if she came to Thanksgiving. Crisis averted!

When Krista suggested they host Thanksgiving outside, as recommended by the province for those with unvaccinated family members, Ford had a clever response up his sleeve that again absolved him of all responsibility.

“The thing is, we already put our outdoor dining set into the garage for the winter. What, are we supposed to just eat turkey standing? No, that’s crazy,” Ford responded, “Anyways, my government hasn’t announced rules for Christmas yet so maybe we’ll see you then. Ok love you, bye.”

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold