Ford Replaces Ontario’s “Climate Change Action Plan” With Much More Chill “Climate Change Mild Suggestions”

Queen’s Park - In an effort to fight climate change while still appeasing his fringe supporters, the Ontario premier has announced that the province will end all current climate change action and instead replace it with a helpful, but non-enforceable, list of neat things you could do if you want to help the environment.

In a pamphlet handed out to residents, Ford highlighted things you could do to stop climate change, like maybe turn your lights off sometimes and making sure you close your refrigerator door all the way.

“Folks, would it be great to fight climate change? Sure. Are we going to force you to? No.”

Ford says that his government will no longer be incentivizing drivers to convert to electric cars but i’d point out all the cool feature’s lots of electric cars have.

“Look, no one is going to force you to get a Tesla. But hey, those things can drive themselves! Isn’t that neat. That would certainly come in handy after a long weekend at the cottage, if you know what I mean,” Ford said winking into the camera.

In an unrelated note, Ford announced that Ontario would be opening four new coal-operated power plants.