Due To Staffing Issues, Ontario Hospitals Now Say They Are Only Able To Offer Treatment If The Pain Is At Least An 8

By Scott Slute

Toronto - In response to a staffing crunch across the province, hospitals have been forced to implement a new policy that will only allow them to treat patients who’s pain is no less then an 8/10.

“We are facing an unprecedented staff shortage, along with intense budget cuts. Until further notice, we will be forced to deny treatment at our hospitals to anyone with pain of 7 or less,” stated Ontario’s Minister of Health Sylvia Jones.

Though previously a common practice for triage nurses to ask incoming patients to rate their pain on a scale of 1-10, emergency rooms across the province will now be forced to turn away anyone who doesn’t respond with an 8, 9, or 10.

“To be completely honest, 70% of the treatment we do in the ER can easily be performed at home,” stated a rep from the nurses union, “We will be posting links at ontario.ca/health to some great instructional Youtube videos about resetting your own bones.”

In response to denying healthcare, the province has stated that Tylenol 3 pills will be made available for over-the-counter sales.

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold