Chaos Breaks Out After Ford’s 800lb Gorillas Attack Anti-Mask Protestors

By Oliver Green

Toronto - Chaos unfolded in Toronto today during an anti-lockdown protest after Premier Ford’s gorilla forces arrived and began violently attacking the demonstrators.

Though details are still unclear at this time, casualties of today’s events are estimated to be in the 100’s and damage from the clash believed to be well over $10 million.

Witnesses said that after police were unable to fully contain the demonstration, several 800lb gorillas arrived and immediately took to violent measures.

In an emergency press conference held this afternoon, Ford admitted to having lost control of the 800lb gorilla fighters.

Ford: “Friends, I have to admit I have lost control of the 800lb gorillas. They are now operating independently.

This story is continuing to update by the minute, and I will continue to provide details as they roll in.

Oliver Green is the wartime correspondent for The Toronto Harold