Canadian Government Admits Manitoba Doesn’t Actually Exist

By Scott Slute

Ottawa - In a shocking revelation, the Canadian government has admitted today that the province of Manitoba has never actually existed.

“The idea that there is a province in Canada called Manitoba has just been one very long social experiment,” said Tony Burton, Minister of Provincial Existence, “How could a place with that many mosquitoes possibly be real?”

Although many Canadians claim to know people from Manitoba, Burton reassured everyone that those were just crisis actors. An astonished member of the press stood up and said he just tried calling his Aunt Eileen who lived in Winkler, MB, only to discover the number had been disconnected.

When asked how the government could explain those who visited Manitoba, Burton informed them that when they thought they were in the made up province they were in fact just in a part of Northern Ontario with very bad lighting.

The existence of Manitoba originally started as a conspiracy to increase tourism to Saskatchewan. By creating the fake province of Manitoba, Saskatchewan was able to recut it’s borders into a perfect rectangle. Tourists from all over the globe flocked to Saskatchewan to marvel at how perfectly straight its borders were.

Residents of Thunder Bay rejoiced at the news of Manitoba not existing as it would significantly cut time off the drive to Regina.

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold