Christine Elliot Says Schools Could Resume In June So That Parents Can Enjoy A Week Or Two Of Quiet Before Summer Vacation

By Scott Slute

Queen’s Park - As Ontario prepares to reopen on June 14th, the Ontario government revealed that schools could reopen earlier, allowing parents to enjoy a few weeks of day-drinking before their kids are back home every day until September.

With many Ontario students having relied on at-home learning for months now, the news of in-class schooling resuming is welcome news to many parents, even if they’ll be right back in the house for summer vacation in a few weeks.

“I can’t go anywhere in my own home without these little mouth-breathers asking me for a snack or telling me they need help with their math lesson,” one grateful parent tells us, “Jesus Christ I pray every morning I contract COVID just so I can have a little alone time. What’s it been, three months? Eight months? Five years? I can’t tell anymore.”

Although an announcement hasn’t been made yet, Health Minister Elliot did close her press conference by winking directly into the camera and saying it was probably safe to order that case of Santa Margherita pinot grigio.

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold