Missed Last Nights ‘Super Flower Blood Moon’? Don’t Worry! Here’s How To Catch Next Weeks ‘Extreme Wolfspike Collector’s Edition Ultra Awesome Moon’!

Science - This ain’t your grandmother’s moon! A recent scientific breakthrough has now made eclipses metal as fuck!

This morning thousands of Canadians woke up at 4 in the morning so they could look at the same moon they see every night just slightly more red. And not only that, if you looked really close at the Super Flower Blood Moon, you could even see a partial eclipse!

“We realized a few years ago people weren’t as excited about lunar eclipses as the were in the 80’s,” space scientist Dr Frank Fillio tells us, “So we made the moon cool again! We realized using words like ‘super’ and ‘blood’ to describe an eclipse got people really fired up and forgot that they were just looking at a big shadow.”

But fret not if you didn’t catch last night’s moon, because next week there’s going to be an even more exciting one!

“A rare and exciting moon is going to take place on June 4 that we’re calling the Extreme Wolfspike Collector’s Edition Ultra Awesome Moon,” Dr Fillio explained, “It’s a result of the Delta Capula star formation reflecting off the E-40 moon which is aligned perfectly with Jupiter and will bounce a light transfusion onto Earth’s moon. An incredible occurrence that only happens once every seven months!”

Moon-gazers can expect to see the moon lit up bright purple, with cool rainbow beams. Oh and explosions! And you’ll gain double XP if you look at it for at least ten minutes. Rad!

Don’t worry if you miss this moon too because you aren’t an insane person who’s awake at 4AM! You can just look at pictures of it online because its 2021!