Co-Worker Upset After Losing Real Money On Her Imaginary Internet Investment

Investments - Bitcoin plunged 25% in value after China’s ban on the cryptocurrency, resulting in a market loss of $500 billion as well as a loss of three hours out of your day because your co-worker who invests in cryptocurrency has not shut the fuck up about it.

“I can’t believe this, I’m down thousands of dollars,” said Carrie Ford, the only person in your office you cares about this, “Oh my god, how am I going to explain to my parents I lost all the money they gave me to investment in this thing that doesn’t exist? Elon Musk why have you forsaken me!”

Despite no one asking, Carrie spent a large portion of the morning explaining exactly how the blockchain, the bing-bong, and various other made up internet things work.

“It’s really quite simple. There is only a finite amount of Bitcoin that can be mined and onvceaf dg fgonrqjngfi in aggeew fdyy kndsagob,” or something like that no one’s actually listened to anything Carrie has said since February.

By the afternoon Carrie’s co-workers were able to get her to talk about something else after someone said he hadn’t listened to Matty Matheson’s appearance on the Joe Rogan podcast.