Continuing To Revamp His Image, Pierre Poilievre Tries A Pear

By Andrew Scott

Ottawa - Following the international attention that Pierre Poilievre garnered from his interview last week where he passive-aggressively responded to reporter questions while smugly eating a crisp apple, the Canadian Conservative Leader has decided to shake up his image by trying pears.

“I’m no one trick pony,” elaborated Poilievre, whose promise to rotate through pears, grapes, pomegranates, rhubarb, watermelons, and other seasonally appropriate fall fruits over the next few weeks, is said to send a clear message of change to Canadian voters.

“I’m unpredictable,” he stated, while attempting to choke down a gourd. “Glasses and a mandarin one day, aviator shades and a fig the next. Just like my ever-changing views of crypto currency, I like to keep ‘em guessing!” 

Andrew Scott is a musician and writer who lives in Toronto in a house amongst children, antiquated technology of yesteryear and many, many instruments. Instagram, writing, poetry, more poetry.