Doug Ford Totally Promises Not To Turn The DVP Into A Land Development

Queen’s Park- After a landmark deal between Toronto mayor Olivia Chow and premier Doug Ford saw responsibility of the DVP and Gardiner shift to the province, Doug Ford has since promised that he for sure is definitely not going to sell either of the highways to any land developers that attended his daughter’s wedding.

“Folks, I’m very happy to announce the province has uploaded responsibility of over 32km of highway space,” stated Ford, “32km of prime real estate in the heart Toronto that will remain highways until at least 2024.”

Though many commuters argue replacing the Don Valley Parkway with a couple 6000 square foot homes would likely be just as useful for getting into the city as the DVP is in it’s current state, Ford has promised that he has no plans to do such a thing any time soon.

“Will the topic of selling off these highways for land development come up during one of my Sunday golf games? Almost certainly. But you have my word as premier that it will take an insurmountable ‘donation’ for me to do that.”

Ford is confident the residents of Ontario can trust him this time, as he has only let them down maybe 50% of the time.