New Science Centre To Mostly Focus On The Science Behind Water Slides And Aromatherapy Massages

Toronto - With a new location for the Ontario Science Centre being announced for Ontario Place, the Ford government says the new location will feature less of a focus on the science behind nature and technology, and more on how fast a person can travel down a water slide and the relaxation effects of various essential oils.

“This new location is an exciting opportunity for Ontarians to explore all kinds of new scientific marvels,” stated Premier Doug Ford, “Did you know that placing hot stones on your back will help ease muscle tension and pain? Now so many residents of the province can experience this scientific wonder first hand.”

The new Science Centre will be split into two main areas; one to focus on the science behind various water park attractions, and another that focuses on the w science of relaxation and the influence behind foreign investment. Visitors can learn the law of inertia through bumper boats, or pay hundreds of dollars for a fully body spa experience all in the name of science.

A spokesperson for the Science Centre said that despite the new direction the province is insisting on heading in, Ford initiated the new location keep the Van de Graff generator as “the Premier insisted on getting a picture with wacky hair.”