Galen Weston Resigns, Citing Ceaseless Mockery By The Toronto Harold

By Andrew Scott

Toronto - It has been a difficult month for Galen Weston Jr., Executive Chairman and President of Loblaw Companies Limited, as he has not only had to deal with a month-long boycott of his Loblaw-owned stores, but the relentless satirical mocking of The Toronto Harold.

According to insiders close to Weston, it was the Harold’s biting satire, penetrating insights impugning his character and business practices, and merciless ribbing that ultimately pushed him over the edge. “He just couldn’t handle being the subject of yet another, albeit hilarious, fake news piece by one of the terrific writers at the Harold,” speculated Canadian business watchdog Sylvie Leduc.

Although it is unclear at present which industry Weston plans on retreating to—with the aim of driving into unaffordability—word on the street is that Weston is looking for something low profile where he is immune from the Harold’s skewering and well-placed farcical barbs. 

Andrew Scott is a musician and writer who lives in Toronto in a house amongst children, antiquated technology of yesteryear and many, many instruments. Instagram, writing, poetry, more poetry.