Do I Have Omicron Or Did I Just Eat Pizza Pizza?

Op-Ed - With Omicron set to become the dominant COVID variant in the province, spreading at an unprecedented rate, I’m concerned I may have contracted it after I couldn’t taste a single thing I had for lunch (one of the many symptoms of the virus). Then again, I was eating a slice of pepperoni from Pizza Pizza.

I know the jokes, they’re a little tired. But, I didn’t taste anything. I should have tasted something, even if it was bad. God I hope this isn’t Omicron.

Did I taste anything the last time I ate Pizza Pizza? Come to think of it, no! It was like I was chewing on salted cardboard the last five times I’ve eaten here! Oh my gosh, what if I’ve been an asymptomatic carrier for months?

Surely if I didn’t have Omicron, I would tasted the zesty tomato sauce, the spice of the pepperoni, or the aromatics of the oregano! That’s what pizza is supposed to taste like! I didn’t detect any of that today!

Oh, oh no, I aught to say my final goodbyes. The loss of taste is just step one, soon I’ll be on a ventilator. If only I could have detected a single flavour on my Pizza Pizza lunch.

On second thought… I just drank a Boneshaker and all I could taste was too much flavour. My taste has returned! I survived Omicron! Or, maybe it actually was just the Pizza Pizza…