Federal Tories Announce Plan To Battle Cost Of Living Crisis By Encouraging Canadians To Stop Being Poor

Ottawa - Canada’s federal Conservative party unveiled their plan to battle the rising cost of living, which will involve politely suggesting Canadians just have more money.

“We understand how expensive things have gotten, but you could easily afford to pay for things if you just made more money,” interim leader Candice Bergen advised to one Canadian asking where all the baby formula was.

Bergen also addressed concerns over the housing market and the rapidly increasing cost of real estate, but reminded Canadians that buying a house was an easily attainable goal if you have wealthy parents.

The economic plan was met with widespread support from all members of the House of Commons as it would involve them doing absolutely nothing.