BREAKING: Joe Biden Stunned To Learn He Was Running For President

Washington - This just in, Joe Biden has officially secured enough electoral college votes to secure the presidency, defeating incumbent President Donald Trump.

Biden was both excited and confused at the news, as he says this is the first time he’s heard that he was running for the presidency.

“Well jeez, that’s exciting news! How long have I been running for that?” the 75 year old Biden asked upon hearing the news, “Did something happen to Barack? Has anyone seen my wallet?”

Biden reportedly celebrated the astonishing victory with a raspberry cordial and a good nap.