Following G7 Meeting, Biden Tells Putin: “Hey… you… you stop that… Stop that right now” As He Issues More Sanctions
By Emily Ferrier
Washington - After a meeting with fellow G7 allies, US President Biden has issued more sanctions against Russia and warns President Vladimir Putin that if he doesn’t knock it off right now he’ he might actually be forced to do something.
Biden’s warning was welcomed by Ukraine, with President Volodymyr Zelenskyy stating, “It’s great that they’re issuing sanctions after these attacks cause they totally worked leading up to this.” Zelenskyy has also encouraged all men, women and children to “grab a weapon” and “just go to town” since the invasion on February 24.
In Moscow, however, Biden’s words were met with a stern warning from Putin who replied with “snitches get stiches,” while standing in front of his nuclear arsenal. Putin insists his full-scale invasion was to protect Ukrainian Russian-speakers, hoping for a “demilitarization” and “de-Nazification” of Ukraine, to which jewish President Zelenskyy respond “lol…”
Western allies have mostly responded with support for Ukraine, except for former president Donald Trump who called the actions by Vladimir Putin, “Genius”, referring to the Kremlin as: “My Boi!”
In Canada, former Minister of Foreign affairs and guy you wish best out Erin O’Toole in hindsight Peter Mackay called Vladimir Putin a “mad man,” presumably a comparison to Mackay’s all time-favourite TV hunk Jon Hamm’s character from the popular AMC show.
Emily is a Toronto-based comedian and journalist who performs at comedy clubs across Canada, the United States and the United Kingdom. She produces and presents the world news updates for Times Radio in the UK and writes and performs for Good News Toronto, live at Comedy Bar on the last Friday of every month.