Ontario’s Step 4 Will See A Return To Slashing Social Services

By Scott Slute

Toronto - As the province prepares for Step 3 of their reopening plan, many Ontarians are wondering what’s next. During a press conference, Premier Ford hinted in Step 4 the province can expect to see less, not more.

“Folks, now that COVID is basically over I really don’t think we’re gonna need hospitals,” stated Ford, “I mean we can keep one or two just in case, but I think most of them would make great production facilities for KyKy Kookies.”

The premier said that hospitals wouldn’t be the only thing getting the Ford treatment.

“Government funded child care? Gone. Supporting women in STEM? Don’t think so. Provincial funding for arts and media? Hate to break it to the three people who tune in to TVO, but you’re gonna have to find something else to watch.”

Ford even said he would retroactively reclaiming some of the pandemic-related funding.

“All that extra pay we gave to healthcare workers during the pandemic? Ya I changed my mind I want that back. You have until the end of the month.”

Ford said the only social service not getting slashed would be the police.

“Oh in 2021, we’re going to be refunding the police. One of my buddies just took me out for a ride along last week, and boy was that ever fun. He let me shot a scarecrow with a taser. It was really cool.”

The premier concluded by saying as part of Step 5 he would be eliminating another 50% of Toronto city council seats.

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold