London, Ontario Celebrates Going An Entire Day Without Being Racist
By Michael Collins
London - This Saturday, thousands of Londoners marched in solidarity with the Black Lives Matter movement, as protests took place around the world demanding justice for the murder of George Floyd. The protest marked a historic moment for the city of London, as for the first time ever it was actually on the right side of history.
The city, most notably famous for being the home of Western University and where former rapper Big Sean cheated on Ariana Grande in 2015, patted itself on the back for going an entire day only being kind of racist!
For the first time since 1992 (the year the first non-white person visited the city) the London Police department received zero complaints involving POCs eating at McDonalds, walking their dog, or driving while being not white. Instead, residents of the city merely texted their loved ones saying how scared and uncomfortable they were watching said POC’s do everyday activities. An amazing step towards progress!
Those attending the protest reported seeing people of all races marching together. Unfortunately, we were unable to actually find any of them ourselves, so here are some quotes from the white guys around us.
Several of the protestors spotted at Alexandra Park in downtown London
“As long as I’m alive I will stand side by side with my bros! No homo,” London resident Shaun Lawrie tells us.
“We had a black dude in Beta Delta Kappa like 6 years ago. Buddy just tore it up on the football field, so this means a lot to us,” Brent Barnes said while he and his four very white fraternity brothers drank Bud Light outside Barney’s demanding they open the patio.
Unfortunately the anti-racism didn’t last long, as residents of London quickly realized Black Lives Matter wasn’t just a one day excuse to spend time outside with friends. Londoners soon shifted their focus from fighting police brutality back to celebrating the fact that COVID-19 has stopped this year’s Pride Parade.
Michael Collins is a contributing author to The Toronto Harold. He is currently unemployed and of no fixed address, barely getting by entirely on his looks.