Santa To Meet With Elf Union As Strike Threats Loom
North Pole - Santa Claus has agreed to meet with leaders of the Elf Workers Union today to discuss a new work deal, as the threat of a strike grows more possible. With just hours to go until Christmas Eve, the busiest day of the year for Santa and his elves, the outcome of these negotiations will determine not just the fate of North Pole relations, but of all the good girls and boys around the world.
Abivail Twinklebop, representative of the elf union, will be meeting with Jolly Old Saint Nick to discuss what she describes as unfair work conditions and unjust compensation for their work.
“We work 364 days a year, with only one day off. As much as we love what we do, we believe it’s fair to receive at least one week of paid vacation,” stated Ms Twinklebop, “And as much as we appreciate the staff meal provided by Mr Claus, the endless sugar plums, candy canes and gingerbread in the staff room are wreaking havoc on our tiny elf teeth. We are demanding Mr Claus provide all his full-time workers with a comprehensive dental plan.”
Ms Twinklebop has also stated the union will be seeking a 12% raise for all workers over the next three years. “With the current inflation rates many of us are unable to provide for our families. The average elf at Santa’s workshop makes just seven gumdrops per hour. Look at the price of food in the grocery stores. How is an elf supposed to feed their family on that kind of salary?”
Santa made headlines earlier last month after a video of him was leaked to Twitter which showed Father Christmas ranting about how the elves should be lucky they even have jobs, citing how most toy factories have moved to automated machinery to construct their products. Though a rep of Mr Claus denied he was intoxicated, there were notably several empty egg nog containers surrounding him in the video.
The entire world will be on the edge of their seats waiting for the outcome of these negotiations. Should a deal not be made, many are expecting lengthy wait times for Santa’s visit this year, and many children may not receive all the items on their wish list.