Ford Spends Additional $2 Million To Make “Verify Ontario” App Blackberry Compatible
By Scott Slute
Queen’s Park - After a wildly unsuccessful rollout of Ontario’s new vaccine receipts and the Verify Ontario smartphone app, the Ford government has announced this morning that after reallocating money meant for paid sick days, the province has now made their app compatible for Blackberrys.
“This is big news,” Ford announced, “Not only were dozens of Ontarians able to download their QR code receipt before the site crashed, but now my government is pleased to announce our app will be available for all Blackberry users across the province.”
The announcement was met with less accolades than Ford expected, with some reporters questioning why the province would spend millions developing an app for a device that people stopped using a decade ago.
”Folks, not everyone in Ontario is using these fancy new smartphones,” the premier told reporters, “You know you have the elderly. You have people who’s thumbs are too fat to use the fingerprint scanners on them. Lots of Ontarians don’t have access to this app and we need to be as inclusive as possible.”
When pressed by reporters on the fact that the Verify Ontario app was only used by businesses, Ford responded, “Well perhaps some Ontarians have militant anti-vaxx daughters and those Ontarians are going to need to start scanning vaccine certificates over Christmas before their family members can enter their house. I don’t personally know anyone like this, but I’m sure they exist in Etobico- I mean this province.”
One reporter from the CBC pointed out the fact that Blackberry hasn’t released a phone running it’s own native operating system since 2015, stating that it seemed like a tremendous waste of money to build an app for a defunct OS.
“Well, I speak to many residents of this province who tell me that they’ve stockpiled of hundreds of Blackberry Curves that they purchase in bulk from a used electronics store in Mississauga,” responded Ford, “And it’s not weird. It’s not weird at all. In fact it’s kind of cool. And environmentally friendly. I’m like Greta Thunberg. I mean they’re like Greta Thunberg. These people I’ve never met. I mean who I talk to…”
The app is now available for download from the BlackBerry World app store and will require at least 2G cell service to work.
Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold