Pierre Poilievre Still Undecided On What Career Costume He’ll Wear This Halloween

By Andrew Scott

Ottawa - With only hours remaining until Halloween night, opposition leader Pierre Poilievre is reportedly still unsure as to which profession he hopes to dress up.

“Having never had a real job in my life,” states Poilievre, “I’m not sure what professional look best fits me. I mean I had so much fun being a make believe barista at Gennaro’s Café in Windsor or wearing a snazzy Cowboy Hat at the Calgary Stampede. And who can forget the time I tried on a matching safety vest and hard hat for a Newfoundland lumber mill photo op or when I commandeered the inflight intercom as a pretend flight attendant. With so many good looks out there, it’s really difficult to choose just one!”

Although Poilievre’s wife Ana admits that the couple’s Greely, Ontario home is currently a mess, as her husband rotates through numerous cosplay ideas, she acknowledges, to exactly no one’s surprise, that the role her husband covets most of all is that of Prime Minister. 

Andrew Scott is a musician and writer who lives in Toronto in a house amongst children, antiquated technology of yesteryear and many, many instruments. Instagram, writing, poetry, more poetry.