Man With Broken Arm Seeks Urgent Medical Attention From Facebook

By Scott Slute

Oshawa - After falling from his two story roof and snapping the bones in his forearm, 52 year old Keith Harrison did what any responsible person requiring medical attention in 2022 does; immediately log onto Facebook and ask his non-doctor friends their opinion.

“Before going to a hospital and blindly trusting what professionals in their field say, I wanted to do my own research to determine if treating my shattered bone was the right decision for me,” Keith said through clenched teeth, “So I asked a bunch of my co-workers and people from high school who I haven’t seen in 20 years what they thought about my broken arm.”

“Why would you get a cast for an injury with a 99.9% survival rate,” one Facebook user responded, “What do you think people with broken bones did before modern medicine? Suffer nerve damage and blood clots and die? I’ve never heard of that so it couldn’t have happened.”

“Just look at the data,” responded another user, citing nothing.

Some of Keith’s other friends were quick to suggest alternative healing methods they learned about from comedy podcasts.

“With proper diet and exercise your body has the ability to develop antibodies that can reset and regrow your bones,” said one user who’s profile picture was the Green Bay Packers logo, “Last week Joe Rogan interviewed the inventor of bones and he said so.”

Though still open-minded on the matter, Keith said he plans to watch a few Youtube documentaries on broken bones before making his decision.

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold