United States Fires Hundreds Of Missiles At Canadian Forests To Combat Fires

Washington - As smoke from Canadian forest fires continues to invade the north east, the US government has decided to take preemptive action to ensure this never happens again.

Early Friday morning, President Biden authorized the firing of hundreds of missiles at Canadian forests. Biden said that by destroying all of Canada’s forests it would ensure that no future forest fires could happen.

“The risk of these forests catching on fire, and the environmental consequence that would have, is too great of a risk to our country,” stated Biden, “And that’s why I authorized to, ya know, firing these missiles and into the, the country of the place and many times. God bless America.”

Missiles were fired at multiple forests in Quebec, Ontario, British Columbia and the maritime provinces. No missiles were fired at Alberta as the province voluntarily chose to destroy all their forests.

The Canadian government says the attacks were unprompted, unnecessary, and in violation of multiple treaties. In response, Canada’s official Twitter account posted a passive aggressive tweet regarding the attack in both English and French.

The move has prompted backlash from the international community, with several of Canada’s allies condoning the US’s use of so many small missiles. French President Emmanuel Macron stated that several large missiles could have accomplished the same task without leaving such a big carbon footprint.