Loblaws Replaces Galen Weston With A Self-Checkout Machine

Toronto - After multiple Loblaws stores in Toronto expanded their self-checkout areas this week, the company says they plan to eliminate even more jobs with the self-checkouts, starting with company CEO Galen Weston.

The company realized that in addition to the $15/h they were saving by laying off cashiers, they could also save an additional $5.41-million each year by replacing the president and chairman with the exact same self-checkout machine.

RoboGalen assumed his new role this Monday, and so far Loblaws staff are loving their new boss.

“Much like the his human counterpart, RoboGalen also sits in his office doing very minimal work in a job that was just handed to him based off of his name. But unlike his predecessor, RoboGalen isn’t costing us millions of dollars each year,” Loblaws VP of Operations explained to us.

The customized self-checkout was installed with the latest operating system that is designed to monitor and fire any employee who takes a sick day. He also has wire-rimmed glasses so the public finds him relatable.