Torontonians Alarmed After Momentarily Spotting A Giant Yellow Orb In The Sky Yesterday

By Andrew Scott

Toronto - The city’s emergency services department were overwhelmed with panicky phone calls Saturday from confused residents reporting a momentary sighting of an unfamiliar giant yellow orb that could briefly be seen in the sky above the city yesterday.

“People are really on edge,” stated 52 division constable Carlton Shaft, who did his best to reassure an anxious public that despite the fact that this rarely seen giant flaming object is currently hurtling through space at approximately 70,000 kilometers per hour, it poses no imminent risk to Torontonians.

“Although we remain perplexed, we have this city’s top scientists working around the clock to figure out what the strange object is,” continues Shaft, “but feel fortunate that we have bought ourselves some time, as it is unlikely to make another appearance until at least April.” 

Andrew Scott is a musician and writer who lives in Toronto in a house amongst children, antiquated technology of yesteryear and many, many instruments. Instagram, writing, poetry, more poetry.