Trump Campaign Appoints Sesame Street Gang To Re-Count Votes in Michigan
By Paul Dudar
DETROIT - On Thursday morning, the Trump Campaign sent a team from the Public Broadcasting Corporation to handle the recount in Michigan.
“I have the best counters handling it. They know all the numbers. The big ones and the small ones, mostly the small ones, that sleepy Joe got,” announced Trump from the White House. “Great counters, I watch them every day.”
As dawn broke in Motor City USA, the team from Sesame Street descended upon polling stations alongside Trump Campaign lawyers.
“One! Two! Three! Counts of voter fraud,” claimed The Count, the Transylvanian-born Sesame counting expert, “We will get to the bottom of the unprecedented number of illegals voting, ha-ha-ha,” cackled The Count maniacally.
“Elmo, is very happy to be representing President Trump and law and order,” said Elmo, the beloved children’s entertainer.
When this reporter asked Elmo what would happen if Biden was declared the winner, the furry red entertainer responded coldly, “Elmo promises that there will be socialist fuelled anarchy in the streets and the suburbs will be destroyed. Elmo will do everything he can to stop The Four Horsemen from ravaging America.”
Oscar the Grouch is under investigation by the FBI for suspicions of domestic terrorism and conspiracy to overthrow the government
“We’re unleashing the full power of the Children’s Television Workshop to reverse the massivevoter fraud at the polls,” claimed Trump Senior Advisor Stephen Miller, “Big Bird and CookieMonster will ensure that the Democrat criminals will not steal the election!”
At press time, Oscar the Grouch was seen stuffing handfuls of Biden ballots into his trash can home while running towards a truck idling on Woodward Ave yelling “LIBERATE MICHIGAN!!!!!!”
Paul Dudar is currently serving with The Royal Canadian Space Shuttle Door Gunners. More of Paul's work can be found at @pauldudar and on his website at pauldudar.com