University Replaces Edgerton Ryerson Statue With a Statue of Canada's Only Non-Problematic Educator: Mr. Ratburn

The world is changing. In 2022, excited students will be receiving their acceptance letters from the newly named Ratburn University.

By Dan Pearce

Toronto - Following the outcry for justice on behalf of the 215 unmarked graves discovered at the Kamloops Residential School, the statue of educator and genocide-enabler Edgerton Ryerson was toppled and thrown into the Toronto Harbour this past Sunday. Ryerson University stated that the statue will not be restored or replaced. However, earlier this morning, they clarified: While Ryerson will not be replacing the statue with another statue of Edgerton, the statue will in fact be replaced.

“Obviously what we need is a change” explained a university representative, “Most of the staff has been uncomfortable with that statue and the name Ryerson itself for a very long time, but it's difficult to figure out what we could change it to. It would be nice to continue carrying on the legacy of a formal educator, but trying to find one in the history books who wasn't also somehow complacent in residential schooling is like trying to find a Canadian history book that doesn't sugarcoat residential schooling. Impossible. Until we realized that we were looking in the wrong places. Because who is a more recognized and revered Canadian educator than queer icon Mr. Ratburn?”

Mr. Ratburn is a fictional teacher, one of the main characters in the long-running PBS children's show Arthur. “Most of the people calling the shots right now are people who grew up in a time where television became a teaching tool, we all grew up with Arthur and there were always little lessons in those episodes. Plus the fact that he's also gay will probably make the worst kind of people mad, and we really love that.”

There's a certain amount of respect that we're expected to give people who were foundational, and when that foundation is revealed to be disgusting and evil there will always be people who insist on justifying it, if only because they're so scared of disrespecting their past. And this is exactly why it's important to behead your ancestors and throw them in the harbour, because there will always be people who pose with the statue but don't bother reading the plaque below. 

Dan Pearce is a contributing writer for The Toronto Harold. Dan can be found on both Twitter and Instagram @danfromlinkedin.