Trudeau Government Demands Canadians Pay Back Their Tooth Fairy Money

By Scott Slute

Ottawa - The federal government will be issuing notices to thousands of Canadians they claim were overpaid by the tooth fairy during the past several decades.

The Ministry of Teeth says that due to a miscommunication on the proper procedure for putting teeth under your pillow, many Canadians received double tooth payments or were wrongly paid. The ministry says all teeth should be placed inside an envelope and put under the eastern-most side of the pillow, and although this was never explained it was still the tooth-owners responsibility to do that.

“Without following proper procedure our Tooth Fairies have no way of insuring that baby tooth belongs to you, or is even a human tooth,” Minister Hubble explained, “We understand this is a challenging time financially for Canadians but those who were overpaid will need to return that money.

“I received a quarter back in 1964 for one of my molars and now I’m being told I need to pay back all this money,” says Shannon Holmes, who was told that after accounting for interest and inflation she owes the government $11,000.

Those who receive the notice will need to pay back the money by the end of August or will risk being sentenced to hard labour in the north pole.

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold