Ontario’s Top Doctor Asks Reporters If They Have Any Ideas On Handling Omicron

By Scott Slute

Queens Park - Ontario’s top doctor, Dr Kieran Moore, held a press conference today to address the concerning spread of the omicron variant, stating that it was “bad” and “pretty serious.”

“Remember two days ago when I said omicron would be the dominant strain by mid-January? Well, we might have given ourselves a little too much credit there,” Dr Moore said to the gathered members of the media.

Dr Moore then announced Ontario’s plan to battle the fifth wave of the pandemic; crowd-sourcing ideas from random people.

“If anyone here has any new ideas I am all ears,” Dr Moore said to the gathered media, “I’m being serious guys, there are no bad ideas at this point.”

Dr Moore then pulled out a dry erase board and demanded each reporter there give him three ideas before they could leave.

“Ok, I’ll go first. How about fully vaccinated visitors in LTC homes, umm, maybe more vaccines? And… we’ll come back to mine. Ok who wants to share next?”

A reporter from Global News raised their hand and suggest making rapid testing easily accessible to schools.

“Remember when I said there were no bad suggestions,” said Dr Moore, “We’ll turns out that was wrong. Get him out of here this press conference is over.”

Moore concluded his conference by revealing half of those in attendance probably now have omicron.

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold