Racist Priest Promises To Hide His Racism Better Next Time

Keenan, seen here white washing history.

By Paul Dudar

Mississauga - In a statement released today by the Monsignor Owen Keenan of the Merciful Redeemer promised that he "would do better." Keenan continued, "I gotta hide my white rage a little better or I'll never make Cardinal."

Rev. Keenan came under fire earlier this week for his sermon where he asked his flock to acknowledge "the good done” by residential schools across Canada. This statement came just days after the discovery of at least 215 unmarked graves at a former Residential School in Kamloops, British Columbia.

“Honestly, I thought that my flock was waaaay more racist than they actually are," said Rev. Keenan deep in reflection. "Next time, I'm going to make sure I'm with my white supremacist peeps at Adamson's BBQ or my Proud Boys Rally before I start trying to re-write history."

When this reporter asked if Rev. Keenan was planning on doing some digging into what happened in those schools, Keenan replied, "It’s getting to the point where a snow-white cracker like me can't even gaslight his parishioners anymore."

At press time, Keenan inquired "...if I back off on the residential school=good thing.....can I keep gay-bashing?"

If you believe that we here at The Harold aren’t being fair to Monsignor Keenan, please check out this CBC article so you can find out with a piece of shit he is.