Ford Optimistic The Strong Winds Will Just Blow All The Covid Away

Toronto - As southern Ontario prepares for wind gusts up to 90 km/h today, Premier Doug Ford has revealed the turbulent weather is a part of the province’s latest efforts to combat the sixth wave of the pandemic by blowing the virus somewhere else.

“It’s very simple science,” explained the province’s top doctor Kieran Moore, “We know covid travels via the air, such as from person to person unless blocked by some kind of cloth barrier. Now, if the air in Ontario were to be more powerful than a person’s breathe, the virus would be pushed somewhere else not in Ontario. The stats show is this is true.”

“Folks as I’ve said I’ve been following the advise of Doctor Moore in all my decision making,” stated Ford, “And if he says really strong winds can blow the virus away, then I’ll make sure Ontario experiences the strongest wind possible today.”

Ford is requesting that the estimated 35,000 people testing positive daily for the virus could all go outside and blow really hard into the direction of the wind, most of the province’s virus could be in Detroit by tomorrow.