Integrity Commissioner Concludes That #87943, LLC Is A Close Personal Friend Of Doug Ford

By Andrew Scott

Ontario’s Integrity Commissioner has confirmed that Premier Doug Ford did nothing wrong in inviting his good friend #87943, LLC, of no fixed Canadian address, to his daughter’s Stag and Doe party last August.

“Look folks,” stated a clearly irate Ford, “I’ve known old ’87,’ as I call him, since my Scarlett Heights days and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with inviting some of my closest friends to a family event, even if they happen to be political donors with deep pockets, property developers, or offshore shell companies set up for the express purpose of holding Canadian real estate.”

In response to questions about his decision to close the investigation, a spokesperson from the integrity commissioner’s office said Thursday that because Ford had “no knowledge of the gifts” offered to his daughter and son-in-law, such as a custom-built home in the Greenbelt, the Ontario Premier was cleared of any wrongdoing. 

Andrew Scott is a musician and writer who lives in Toronto in a house amongst children, antiquated technology of yesteryear and many, many instruments. Instagram, writing, poetry, more poetry.