Following Stunning Revelations In “Spare,” Prince Harry’s Penis Gets Its Own Book Deal

By Andrew Scott

Los Angeles - After “breaking the internet” with the important and universally relatable news of Prince Harry’s former battles with penile frostbite, the publishing world is once again buzzing as Penguin Random House has offered Harry’s genitalia its own book deal.

“Given the attention that this segment of Spare has garnered since its release on January 10th,” stated Marissa McAllister, Senior Editor and Operations Manager at Penguin Random House, New York, “We at Penguin RH know that the world now needs to hear directly from Harry’s penis and feel confident that we are the perfect publisher to provide a forum for it to speak its own truth.”

While there is no stated release date for the forthcoming book, news on the street is that a quick turnaround is possible, given the fact that the more that Harry self-flagellates and emasculates himself publicly, the more time his penis has to dedicate to projects such as this.

Andrew Scott is a musician and writer who lives in Toronto in a house amongst children, antiquated technology of yesteryear and many, many instruments. Instagram, writing, poetry, more poetry.