Loblaws Forced To Triple Bagel Prices Following Poor Season For Bagel Trees

Toronto - Bagel prices are expected to rise significantly across Loblaws stores after the company said a horrible draught has caused a shortage in the world’s supply.

“It’s just terrible what these poor bagel farmers had to deal with this year. Most of the bagel trees were nearly barren by the end of the season,” stated company CEO Galen Weston, “And unfortunately, Canadians can expect to pay triple, maybe even quadruple, for their beloved bagels thanks 100% to this very real natural disaster.”

Weston says many of the Canadian bagel farms he visited in undisclosed but very real locations were in the worst shape he’d ever seen. Many bagel fruits were underdeveloped from lack of water, or were over toasted due to an uncharacteristically warm season.

Many Canadians who heard Loblaws announcement have been quick to point the blame entirely on Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, saying his lack of funding and health restrictions towards bagel farmers are the only reason the breakfast food has seen such a tremendous price jump.