In Response To Airport Delays Ontario Ministry Of Transportation Recommends Just Walking To Your Destination

By Gabriel Venneri

Toronto - The Ontario Ministry of Transportation released recommendations on how to beat the long delays at Pearson International Airport earlier this week; their number one recommendation is to just start walking to your destination.

“We know Canadians are eager to travel, and the delays and cancellations at Pearson have only made things more frustrating,” said Ministry spokesperson Don Healey, “That’s why we’re recommending Canadians just straight up walk to wherever they’re trying to get to. You can either spend 34 days walking from Toronto to Vancouver or you can spend 34 days sitting in various airports because your flight was delayed or canceled. Think about it, if you had started walking, you’d already be closer to your destination than those suckers sitting on the tarmac for 19 hours.”

He went on to say, “You could try driving, but have you seen how expensive gas is? If you can afford gas you probably also have your own private jet and these delays don’t apply to you.”

When asked if anything was being done to address the labor shortage that seems to be one of the factors in causing the delays, Healey responded saying, “We thought about that. But that means we’d have to pay more staff, which would eat into profits for airline companies, which would probably affect our kickbac– I mean, taxpayers. Yeah, it would affect the taxpayers.”

Following this announcement, Air Canada stated it would start offering domestic one way walking travel tickets starting at $2500, plus $500 for every bag checked.

Gabriel Venneri is a contributing writer at The Toronto Harold. You can find him on Instagram at @gabevenn