Ford Confident Healthcare System Can Withstand Spring Wave After Ordering 200 New ICU Beds From Casper

Queen’s Park - Despite rising cases numbers, Premier Ford says Ontario has no plans to reinstate mandates as hospitals are now prepared to deal with the pandemic after purchasing hundreds of new ICU beds from the online mattress retailer.

”Folks, these restrictions and mandates were always only ever in place to stop the hospitals from being overwhelmed,” Ford told reporters while unloading the shipment of vacuum sealed mattresses, “During the last wave Dr Moore worried we might run out of ICU beds, which is why I had the brilliant idea to just order more. I don’t know why it took me two years to think of this.”

With Casper’s patented 4D Sleep Technology, ICU patients will now experience advanced cooling and triple zoned support while they await life saving aid from an overworked and exhausted healthcare worker.

Ford also gleefully announced that thanks to a promo code he heard on his favourite podcast, Cottage Boy Life, he was able to save an additional 15% at checkout, saving the people of Ontario even more money.

Some critics say this move is a bandaid solution, as Ontario’s healthcare system needs more than just additional beds, and if Ford was going to order new beds he could have gone with a Canadian made company like Douglas.

During press time, Ford said if anyone happened to be in the market for some old hospital beds to come find him in the parking lot behind Etobicoke Secondary School.