COVID-19 Rethinks Retirement

By Andrew Scott

Florida - Inspired by Tom Brady’s recent announcement to come out of retirement, COVID-19, last seen applying zinc on its nose while sipping Mai Tais on a beach in Grenada, is rumoured to be consulting with trusted confidants and weighing options about a possible return.

“Having spoken to my family, who acknowledge that they miss seeing my name in print every day, what with the sudden global attention being paid to issues in the Ukraine, I feel that the time might be right to stage a comeback.” 

Currently being advised on issues of virulence, transmissibility and cellular tropism, COVID-19, is reportedly torn between possible future names “pi1” or “Rho,” and whether or not a post-retirement second act should wait until the end of March Madness.

Andrew Scott is a musician and writer who lives in Toronto in a house amongst children, antiquated technology of yesteryear and many, many instruments. Instagram, writing, poetry, more poetry.