Ontario: The Future Is Electric, And That’s Why We Have To Do All Of Our Polluting Right Now
By Noa Garmaise
Toronto - By now, most Ontarians have seen the province’s hot new ad campaign—the slogan “The Future is Electric” is plastered on TV commercials, phone pop-ups, and street-side billboards. Despite the generally positive response the ad blitz has received, the Ford government wishes to make a clarifying statement. While yes, the future is electric, that simply means that we have to do all the damage we possibly can to the environment immediately, while we still can.
“Time is running out,” Doug Ford told us in an exclusive interview with The Toronto Harold. “If we don’t act right this instant, one day we’re gonna open our eyes and realize we can’t pollute anymore. The present will be electric and we’ll have missed our chance.”
To the province’s dismay, a recent report shows that most supporters of the campaign completely misunderstood its message.
“I initially thought it was about hybrid cars and preserving our one-of-a-kind natural world,” explained Tammy Lee, an environmentalist from Thornhill. “I should’ve known that the ads weren’t saying exactly what I hoped. I looked at the FAQ on the Ontario website and under ‘What can I do to help?’ it said ‘Eat more red meat.’”
Many Ontarians are angry about the misleading nature of the ads, but that’s not the only reason why some people feel deceived.
Todd Spiegel, one of the principal actors in the TV commercials, told us Tuesday, “I myself felt ensnared by the ads. I thought these were good people, next thing I know the Ford government leaves my hair looking like a mad scientist and refuses to get their make-up artists to put it back to normal. For real, I’ve been walking around like this for two months.”
As for the ads themselves, many questions remain unanswered. For instance, why are the ads low-key set in the 1980s? Isn’t it the future that’s supposed to be electric? The Toronto Harold awaits an answer from a representative of the province.
Noa Garmaise is a contributing writer at The Toronto Harold and a student at McGill University. Her work has appeared in The Hard Times, The McGill Tribune, and The Milking Cat.