TTC Announces Retirement Plan

Toronto - After over 100 years in operation, including at least 3 years that could be described as “fine”, the Toronto Transit Commission has announced that it will be ceasing operations after this weekend.

“We’ve certainly had a run. Not a good one, but we definitely existed,” stated CEO Rick Leary, “Anyways, uh, we’re done. I don’t know, you’re welcome.”

Though the TTC will remain operational until Monday, riders should not that subway service between Kipling and Warden, the entirety of Line 1, and every streetcar will be out of service due to track maintenance this weekend.

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