The Two Michaels Describe Canada’s Quarantine Hotel Stay As “Slightly Better” Than Chinese Prison

Calgary - In accordance with federal mandates, the two political prisoners have completed their mandatory quarantine hotel stay and were released from Canadian custody early this morning after receiving negative test results for COVID-19.

While speaking with reporters, the pair of Michaels said that, while not the worst thing to have ever happened to them, the hotel stay was certainly in their top 3.

“I’ll admit, the beds were certainly more comfortable at the Calgary Marriott. But the CCP has them beat when it comes to food,” said Michael Spavor, recounting the two hard boiled eggs the quarantine hotel served for breakfast.

The Toronto Harold has been unable to determine whether this picture was taken inside a Chinese Communist prison or a quarantine hotel.

Michael Kovrig said at times he even misses the Chinese prison food. “Don’t get me wrong, worst experience of my life. Wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. But meal time was definitely the highlight of my day. Every Friday was General Tao chicken night! Really motivates you to make it through the week.”

Though the quarantine hotel program ended in August the Canadian government felt that given the high density living of unvaccinated Chinese prisoners, it would be safer for the general population to forcibly quarantine the Michaels. The government did show some sympathy to the pair however, allowing them to room together.

“That’s the one thing this hotel stay had over Chinese prison. There wasn’t much difference between the two stays, but at least I was allowed to hang out with my buddy the whole weekend!”