Ontario Health Minister Makes Announcement In Front Of Burning Hospital

By Scott Slute

Toronto - Ontario health minister Sylvia Jones has announced that the Ontario healthcare system is perfectly fine during a press conference held in front of a completely engulfed Toronto Western Hospital.

Though many healthcare professionals have called on the province to provide more assistance while they fight multiple respiratory illnesses and fires burning through multiple hospital wings, the province insists everything is perfectly fine. The health minister has suggested maybe healthcare workers just work longer hours and weekend if they don’t like their current burning work conditions.

Jone’s is maintaining her firm stance that the province was fully prepared to handle the fall surge, and reassures residents that the flames are barely even noticeable. The province applauds the creative work done by hospitals in moving ER rooms to cafeterias to avoid working in the currently fire enveloped hospital wings in what they’re calling “thinking outside the burning box”.

Meanwhile, paediatric hospitals across the province have been forced to postpone surgeries due to overwhelmed emergency rooms, and hospitals in Ottawa have been forced to ask the military for assistance battling the ongoing fires in their ER.

Jones and Premier Doug Ford are reassuring residents they can definitely still go to hospitals but encourage those to wear proper PPE including N-95 masks and fire retardant turnout coats.

The minister concluded her announcement by stating that after consulting Ontario’s new top doctor, podcast host Joe Rogan, residents could now receive Paxlovid from provincial pharmacists.

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at the Toronto Harold