Ford Government Announces New “Snyder Cut” Of Lockdown

Zack Snyder’s Grey Zone will feature 52 more things you can do while still in lockdown.

By Scott Slute

Toronto - Early this morning the Ontario government announced even more updates to the “modified grey zone”, that would henceforth be called Zack Snyder’s Lockdown, after the acclaimed director was brought on to give his interpretation of what “stay at home” means.

“We’re very excited to see what Mr Snyder plans to open up while still keeping Toronto in ‘lockdown’,” said Premier Ford, “I hear he is going to have outdoor hair cutting. How wild!”

Snyder is joining the Ford government after the release of his 16 hour long Justice League film, which 100% would have been a bigger deal if it came out exactly one year ago.

“I’m excited to be tackling this new project,” the director told us, “I’m really going to be pushing the boundaries of what a ‘patio’ can be.”

Toronto can expect the Snyder Cut Lockdown to come into affect in either three days or four hours who knows anymore.

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold